The Life and Times of Lupin
by JustYourAverageRavenclaw
Summary: Remus Lupin has always had to deal with society and their reactions to his being a werewolf. But how does he deal with it himself? Read and find out! :D *NAME CHANGE! Used to be Remus John Lupin*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I own nothing, except Prof. Ravenscraft.**

**A/N: This has been in the back of my mind for a while and I wanted to finally write it. It may be part of a kind of series, of the Marauders. But for now, most of my HP stories will probably be about Remus. I find him to be a very fascinating character.**

* * *

"Remus, are you sure you want to go to class today? I don't think the professors will mind if you miss one day."

Remus smiled inwardly at James' concern, though outwardly his face was tired and worn. He shook his head at his friend's worried faces and slung his bag over his shoulder, leading the way out of the third year dormitory and out the portrait hole.

"Really, James, I'm fine. I'm used to it, anyways." He said as they made their way into the Great Hall and sat down to breakfast. Sirius spoke up,

"Yeah, but you've never been back so quickly before."

Remus shrugged. "It was a short night," he said, and lowering his voice to a whisper he added, "Please just drop it, guys. I can't skip class just because of one full moon. Okay?"

James scoffed but agreed, still frowning slightly as he watched Remus reach for the pumpkin juice with his gashed, torn hand.

* * *

The third year Gryffindors and Slytherins filed into their Defense Against the Dark Arts class, which was for now void of a teacher. Almost as soon as they'd taken their seats, James and Sirius seized the opportunity and turned to where Severus Snape was sitting, his text book already sitting on his desk and his quill out ready for notes, and flung a wadded-up ball of parchment at him, yelling "Hey, Snivellus!"

It hit Severus right in the forehead, bouncing off onto the desk. He grabbed it and unfolded it. Inside there was a very detailed caricature of Snape himself, his nose taking up half of his face. Severus went red and reached for his wand, but before he could fling a curse at either of the young Marauders, the classroom door opened and Professor Ravenscraft entered.

Professor Ravenscraft was a tall, slim wizard whose dark brown hair fell to just shoulder length and who sported a rather impressive tattoo of a red dragon on his right forearm. He pointed his wand at the chalk on the ledge of the chalkboard, which levitated and began to write on the board.

"Turn to page 394 in your books," It said, "And take out parchment and quills for notes."

Remus grabbed his book from his bag and quickly found the correct page. His breath caught in his throat as he took in the chapter title. _Oh, no, _he thought, _not werewolves. Not today._

He glanced down the row at his friends. James had gone oddly stiff, and Sirius was glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Peter seemed barely able to stop himself from voicing his surprise. Remus gave him a glare that said, quite plainly, "Don't say a word!"

Professor Ravenscraft cleared his throat, drawing even the Marauders'' attention again.

"Werewolves," he said, his hands clasped behind his back and his feet spread, as if standing at attention. "Would anyone like to tell me what you already know about them?"

Most of the class was silent, Remus not daring to volunteer any information. Then Severus raised his hand, smirking slightly.

"Yes, Severus?" Professor Ravenscraft asked.

"Well, there are several differences between a werewolf and a true wolf, such as the pupil size, the tufted tail, the elongated snout-"

Professor Ravenscraft cut him off.

"Yes, thank you, Severus. Class, you will find a complete list of werewolf/wolf differences in your books. Copy them, please."

There was nothing but the scratching of quills for a moment. Then one by one the quills were set down until the room was silent again.

"Alright, now that we have that done, let's move on, shall we? Please turn to the picture on the next page and study it."

Remus flipped the page and found himself staring at what seemed to be a portrait of a werewolf- a grimacing monster with yellow eyes, bared fangs, and two inch long claws. He screwed up his mouth in distaste, glancing again at his friends. They seemed determined not to look at him, though he saw Sirius looking alarmed, and Peter practically terrified. James simply looked angry.

"This is one artist's idea of what a werewolf looks like in his or her transformed state. While it is possible to observe a werewolf while they are transformed, it is not advised that you get that close. While transformed the individual has lost their mind, and no longer recognize humans as anything more than prey. There have even been rare instances where the transformed werewolf has attacked family members or friends, because he or she no longer recognizes them.

However, a wizard by the name of Damocles has very recently announced that he believes he has invented a potion that will allow an inflicted werewolf to keep his mind, and not fully transform. The potion is still in development, but if successful, it will mean a great deal to those inflicted with the disease."

Remus stared at Professor Ravenscraft in amazement. If such a potion were really created…. He tried to imagine the prospects. It would be wonderful; to not have to turn into the monster he was… Remus could barely sit still as the rest of the class copied this information down. He didn't need to copy it down, he knew he would remember this.

Again, Professor Ravenscraft waited until the scribbling had subsided, and then began to speak again.

"There have been several accounts, by anonymous authors, on their experiences as werewolves. The most famous is entitled _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_. It is in the library, if anyone would like to read it. It is a very touching account, and it gives incredible insight to werewolves that researchers have benefited greatly from.

According to these anonymous authors, the transformation is incredibly painful. The otherwise normal, human-seeming werewolf is forced to change rapidly each full moon, and that includes growing hair, fangs, claws, and the overall body structure of the wolf. And then, if there is no available prey for the werewolf- say, if he or she has taken precautions to separate themselves from humans- then what usually happens is that he or she ends up attacking themselves, which results in scratches and bites which never fully heal, due to the magical property of them, and evolve into scars later on."

Remus hid his hands under the table, remembering the gashes and scars in them.

"Now," Professor Ravenscraft continued, "Are there any questions?"

A Gryffindor girl near the front- Lily, Remus remembered, raised her hand.

"Sir," she said, "What is the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?"

"An Animagus and a werewolf differ in many respects. While an animagus is a wizard who chooses to transform, the werewolf has no control, other than the knowledge that it will happen every full moon. Also, animagi transform into a variety of animals, each unique to the wizard or witch. Also, animagus wizards become so by immensely complex transfiguration spells. Werewolves change after receiving a bite from a transformed werewolf."

The class silently copied this down. Remus found himself, unwittingly, remembering the night he'd received his bite. But before he could get too far into his memories, the bell rang that signaled the end of class. The students leapt out of their seats and began repacking their bags, rather noisily, so that Professor Ravenscraft had to shout over the din.

"Alright, before you go, homework! I want you all to complete an essay, a roll of parchment each, on werewolves and their transformations. Please have it ready to hand in on Monday morning. Class dismissed!"

As the marauders made their way to their next class with the other Gryffindors, James took the opportunity to question the class angrily, muttering under his breath to Remus.

"Why did Professor Ravenscraft have to talk like that? The way he described you guys… jeez. It's like he made you out to be the bad guys or something."

Remus merely grinned wryly and whispered,

"Well, we kind of are, you know. We're being taught as Dark Creatures. And he can't make it inoffensive, no one else can know about me. It would've given something away."

James still looked angry over something, so Remus again muttered, "What?"

James scowled slightly, but also looked apprehensive somehow.

"Well, that picture, you know… is that, I mean, is that what you really look like?"

A fleeting memory entered Remus' mind- a mirror, a snarling face, and shattered glass upon the floor. He sighed.

"Yes, it's what we really look like. But really, you don't have to get all worked up over this. It's going to look suspicious after a while, and besides, it won't change anything. The best we can hope for is for that Damocles fellow to be done with his potion soon."

James nodded, and Remus smiled in relief. He turned back to look at Sirius, Peter lagging behind like always. Sirius looked as though a wonderful idea had struck him.

"What?" Remus asked. Sirius looked at him, startled, but said, "Oh nothing…. Hey, I was thinking, about that essay, we don't really have to study. We've got you!" He grinned to show he was joking, and then laughed with is odd, bark-like laugh. Remus laughed too, he couldn't help it.

These were the moments he truly enjoyed; laughing with his friends, ones he now knew wouldn't desert him because of what he was. And despite his fatigue from the night before, Remus felt better than he ever had.

* * *

**A/N:**

**So, that's what's been running through my mind. Please review, I would love to hear your thoughts or questions on this. **

**Word Count: 1,826**

***Mischief Managed**** * **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok, this one's different than my last chapter- it's not a continuation. But I think you'll like it :D**

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Accalia Lupin sat with her head in her hands at the edge of her bed, silently cursing the sunbeams that shone on the bedroom floor. She'd been dreading this day; today her poor baby's dreams would likely be shattered, and through no fault of his own. She sighed as she felt her husband's warm, comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Accalia, we can't avoid it forever. Come on, Remus is likely already up and waiting for us. We can't ignore him."

Accalia nodded and stood up, her heart heavy. She just couldn't bear having to face her son today.

She and John made their way downstairs to the kitchen, where, sure enough, Remus was sitting, his nose in a book. He looked up when his parents entered. Grinning and placing the book aside, he bounced out of his seat and into their arms.

"Morning, Mum! Morning, Dad!"

They hugged him at the same time, kneeling to reach his height.

"Good morning, dear. Happy Birthday."

Remus smiled up at his mother, excitement pouring from him, making the scratches on his face and the rings under his eyes seem almost nonexistent.

"And I'm eleven today! That means I get my Hogwarts letter!"

Accalia's face fell as she glanced to her husband. He nodded slightly, encouraging her to explain. She sighed and looked back at her son, who was looking at her, puzzled.

"Remus, Dear…. Honey, you might not get that letter. It's just… it's not you, dear, it's what you are. It's not your fault. It's just that there's the safety of the other children to think of. Do you understand?"

Remus was staring at her, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"You mean… I might not get to go to Hogwarts… because of what I am? How is that fair? I want to go!"

John reached out an arm and grasped his son's shoulder.

"We know it's hard to understand, son, but think about it. What if there was an accident, and you hurt someone by mistake? That person would have to go through what you do, though you do so bravely."

Remus balked at that, horror twisting his thin, pale face.

"No, no, I don't want that, I couldn't do that…." He stared at the floor, tears starting to fall down his cheeks. "You're right, I can't go. I can't do that to anyone."

Tears were falling from Accalia's eyes as she watched her son. She hated that he had to shoulder an old man's burden, that he could never think like a child does, held back by what he was. She swept him up in another hug, letting him bury his face in her shoulder and just cry. She looked at John over Remus' shoulder. He seemed to be holding back tears. He silently stood up, trying not to disturb his son, and walked over to the kitchen window, which looked out over the front lawn. He glanced outside, but then did a double take.

"Accalia, someone's coming up the walk… Merlin's beard, it's Dumbledore!"

Accalia looked up, shocked, and stared at him.

"Dumbledore, the Headmaster?"

John nodded and turned to open the door. Remus and Accalia jumped apart and stood up, Remus drying his tears on his sleeve, though his eyes were still red.

John pulled open the front door, just as Dumbledore was about to knock.

"Ah, John," he said, "Perfect timing, as usual. I assume you know why I am here?"

John, mystified, glanced to Accalia, who shook her head.

"Uh, no, Professor, I'm afraid we don't."

"Why, to deliver a letter to one Remus Lupin, of course."

Remus gazed at Dumbledore, bemused, as he strode into the house and handed him a letter that Dumbledore procured from underneath his long cloak. Remus took it with trembling hands, turning it slowly around to reveal the Hogwarts crest. He looked back up at Dumbledore, his mouth open, hope shining in his eyes. He seemed to struggle for words, until he burst out with,

"But I thought owls always delivered the letters?"

Dumbledore chuckled along with Remus' parents.

"Well, normally they do, with the exception of special cases such as yours. I feel the need to discuss several things with you and your parents," He looked back to John and Accalia "Is there possibly a sitting room where we could talk?"

Accalia jumped as though being pulled out of a trance and said, "Oh, yes, of course, Headmaster. Right this way."

She led him and the others down a short hallway and through a doorway to the left, which opened into a modest sitting room with couches and a rug that were rather worn but still charming. Several photos of Remus stood on bookshelves, in between the dozens of books placed there.

Dumbledore smiled and sat across on the couch across from the one the Lupins had taken. Remus sat in between his parents, still clutching his unopened Hogwarts letter. Accalia looked around nervously. Spotting the bottle of Butterbeer in the wine rack, she asked, "Would you like some Butterbeer, Professor? Or maybe some Firewhisky, I'm sure we have that."

Dumbledore smiled graciously and said, "No, thank you, Accalia. I am afraid I must decline your offer."

Accalia nodded, and Dumbledore continued.

"However, I have an offer to make myself. It concerns your son's enrollment in Hogwarts. You see, Remus' name has been on our list since he was born, but unfortunately many did not believe he would be able to come to Hogwarts, because of his lycanthropy. Now that I am Headmaster, however, I see no reason as to why he should not be allowed to attend."

Remus grinned at his parents, though they did not smile back. They looked mostly worried.

"I assure you, we will take the utmost caution as to the safety of your son and the other students. As we speak, our Professor of Herbology, Professor Sprout, is overseeing the planting of a Whomping Willow. This will be placed over the secret entrance of a tunnel, which leads to a small, abandoned house which is located on a hill overlooking Hogsmeade. Every month, our resident Healer, Madam Pomfrey, will take Remus to this secret place, so he may transform but be safe from contaminating any others."

The Lupins, all three of them, were staring at Dumbledore, amazed that he had taken the time to think up such a plan.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir, what about… what about the willow? It hurts anyone who comes near it, right? How will Remus get so close to it?"

Dumbledore smiled at John's concern. "Ah yes. There will be a knot in the side. When you press said knot, the tree freezes and you will be able to pass without harm. Now, Remus, do you have any questions?"

Remus, looking hopeful for the first time in- well, in years, if Accalia was being truthful with herself- simply stared at Dumbledore. Then a question seemed to present itself, because his face fell a bit. "Will… will the others know? About me, I mean."

Dumbledore frowned a bit and said,

"The teachers will, but have all sworn not to let slip a word. Your fellow students will not know, unless you deem it right to tell them."

Remus nodded, and the room was silent for a few minutes. Then, suddenly, Dumbledore reached for his pocket watch and checked the time.

"Oh, please excuse me, I must be going. There's a little Muggle- born girl who needs to get her Hogwarts letter, too."

They all stood up at once and accompanied him to the door.

"Thank you for your hospitality, John, and Accalia. And Remus, I look forward to seeing you at the Welcome feast!" With that Dumbledore swept from the house as quickly as he had come. He paused for a moment on the walk and looked back.

"Oh, and Remus," he called to the small boy staring at him with shining eyes, "Happy Birthday."

With that he walked to the edge of the walkway and turned on the spot, vanishing into thin air.

The Lupins stood in their doorway for a few seconds, staring at the spot Dumbledore had just occupied. It was Remus who broke the stillness first, looking down at the letter in his hands.

"Mum… can I… can I open it?"

Accalia looked down at her son, happiness shining in her eyes. "Of course you can, honey. Read it to us."

Remus slid one finger under the seal and broke it carefully, extracting the several heavy sheets of parchment from inside the envelope. He unfolded one with shaking hands, and slowly read the first line aloud.

"Dear Mr. Lupin, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

* * *

**A/N:**

**So… How'd you guys like it? I've always tried to imagine this scene… poor little Remus, all sad because he thinks he won't get to go to Hogwarts… I was nearly crying when I wrote that part.**

**Oh, and a bit of background: I found the name Accalia on a baby name website- apparently, it was the name of the human foster mother of the twins Romulus and Remus, founders of Rome. I thought it worked perfectly for such a character- and it's rather pretty, too. :D **

**Oh, also, from the last chapter- did anyone notice that the question Snape answered was essentially the same one Hermione tried to answer in POA? :D **

**Ok, Disclaimer time: I OWN NOTHING. Rub it in, why don't ya?**

**PLEASE REVIEW. Reviews are like drugs to authors. Just without all the nasty side effects. :D**

**Word count: 1,812**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yay, another Marauder fic! This is when they're in their second year. **

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James, Sirius, and Peter sat in a circle on the second-year dormitory's floor, a pile of books between them. If any other Gryffindor had walked in there at that moment, they would have been astonished to find that the normally slacking boys were studying intently, their brows furrowed in concentration.

Every now and then they would make a little note in a notebook that sat between them. But for the most part, the dormitory was silent except for the rustling of pages turning. Silent, that is, until about three in the morning.

"Guys!" James shouted, jumping up. The other two looked up, startled, as their friend held up his book with a kind of manic triumph in his eyes.

"I found it! I know what's wrong with Remus!"

Sirius stood up too, grabbing the book from his friend's hands.

"_Under the Full Moon,"_ he read, "_A Comprehensive Study of Werewolves."_

Sirius looked up. He looked rather pale. "Blimey… d'you really think Remus is a… a…"

"A werewolf?"

Sirius nodded. From the floor, Peter gasped, staring up at James. James' face was grim, but decisive.

"Yes, I do- look at all the evidence, Sirius, you can't ignore it. He leaves every month, on the full moon like tonight, and his excuses for that are wearing thin. And then when he comes back, he's always tired and shaky. Not to mention the scrapes and cuts he's always got…"

Peter stood up too. "And," he squeaked, looking quite terrified, "The week leading up to when he leaves, he's always sick."

Sirius nodded absently, looking thunderstruck. The boys sat down on their beds, each staring at each other.

"But… but why, do you think, he hasn't told us?" Peter asked tremulously.

"Because," Sirius answered bitterly, "Pretty much everyone in the Wizarding world hates werewolves. Can you imagine, being hated by everyone who knows what you are? I wouldn't tell my friends about that in a hurry."

The other two nodded. They looked over at Remus' empty bed. The atmosphere in the room was heavy, as if their worry and sorrow for their friend was tangible.

"Blimey, I hope he's alright…" James muttered, leaning down to grab his book again. He opened it to the page he marked. It showed a medieval woodcut of a man, hunched in pain, caught in the throes of transformation. "That doesn't look pleasant…"

* * *

Remus made his way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room slowly, being careful about the bandages wrapped around his torso. He winced as he breathed too deeply, causing a spasm of pain to shoot through him. Madam Pomfrey had wanted to keep him in the Hospital Wing longer, but he'd successfully acted his way out of it, telling her he was fine. He was far from fine, but that was the way it would always be, so Remus tried to make as little fuss as possible.

He glanced out of one of the windows as he climbed the last set of stairs, and realized it was afternoon, and that meant everyone would be in the common room when he returned.

_Great, _he thought, _maybe I should just go back downstairs… I could just sleep in the Hospital Wing after all…_

But Remus didn't really want to do that. He saw enough of the Hospital wing as it was, he didn't want to stay there any more than necessary. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he missed his friends. They were always able to make him feel better, even if they did so unconsciously.

_Course, if they ever figured out about me, they wouldn't stick around, _He thought grimly. He'd had a few friends before he'd been bitten, but after the accident none of them had wanted to come near him.

Finally, in the middle of all his musings, he reached the Fat Lady. "Balderdash." He said, and she swung forward to admit him.

He'd been right; the common room was crowded with students relaxing and enjoying the day off. They looked up as he clambered through the portrait hole, but most of them, used to his comings and goings, didn't pay him any attention and quickly went back to what they'd been doing. He managed to make it to the stairs leading to his dormitory without distraction.

The dorm was empty when Remus entered. It was messy as usual, but the mess seemed to consist mostly of books- a first for his friends. Remus sighed and went to clean up, knowing that if he didn't, the others never would. He knelt down, unable to lean over, and picked up the book on top of the pile.

_Common Magical Ailments and their Cures, _he read_. _The next was similar- _101 ways to cure Magical Sicknesses. _Now that he looked closely, pretty much all of the books seemed to be about diseases and treating them, but a few, he noted, were about magical creatures.

Then, as he was straightening up, he noticed one book that had been knocked underneath James' bed. When he retrieved it, he saw that there were little slips of parchment stuck between the pages, apparently marking interesting spots. He glanced at the title, and then did a double take, the color draining from his face.

_A Comprehensive Study of Werewolves_... no…. No - they couldn't have figured it out, not so soon… Oh, Merlin, please, no….

Remus was panicking as he tore the book open, stopping at one of the first marked pages. It was the beginning of a chapter: _Recognizing and Killing the Werewolf._ He shuddered at the 'Killing' part, hoping his friends had marked that page simply for the 'Recognizing' bit.

One of the slips of paper had fallen out when he'd opened the book. He picked it up; it looked like a list of some sort, written in three different handwriting styles.

Gone every month at the Full Moon

Ill the week before

Wounds

But before he could finish the list, the dormitory door opened. Remus whipped around, his heart sprinting madly.

James, Sirius, and Peter came in, their arms full of even more books. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Remus, kneeling white faced on the floor, the book and a slip of parchment clutched tightly in his hands.

The three in the doorway looked at each other with panic in their eyes- they'd been planning on how to confront Remus, and this was _not _how they'd wanted him to find out they knew.

James looked back at Remus, who was staring at him with terror in his eyes. A thought flashed across James' mind that Remus looked like a trapped, injured animal- and in a twisted way, he was.

"Remus…" James whispered, stepping forward, "We can explain…"

Remus flinched away from him, looking terrified, as if he thought James would pull a pitchfork out of his school bag at any moment. James' steps faltered and he looked back at Sirius and Peter, silently begging for help.

Sirius and Peter gave each other one glance and then both slowly came forward, until they were level with James. Then Sirius knelt down, so that he was at eye level with Remus, and repeated,

"We can explain, Remus. Just… try to calm down a bit. No one's going to- to yell at you, or kick you out, or whatever it is you're thinking. Promise."

Remus stared at him for a long moment, during which the whole group held their breaths. The silence was so thick it could've been cut with butter. Then Remus gave a small nod, and silently held out the book, after placing the parchment slip back inside.

"Explain, then."

Sirius took the book and passed it to James, and leaned back so he was sitting Indian style. The other two copied him, so that they were sitting in a small circle, facing each other.

James cleared his throat and frowned down at the book in his hands. "Where do I start?"

"Start with why you were poking your noses into other people's business in the first place." Remus whispered, trying and failing to sound angry. He was breathless, likely from fear, though that could be from the wound hidden under his bandages, which was starting to ache.

James winced slightly at the accusing tone in Remus' voice.

"It wasn't like that, Remus. We- we were worried, really. We just thought you were sick or something. We tried to ask Madam Pomfrey,"- here James gave him a weak grin- "But she refused to tell us anything, and then kicked us out for bothering her other patients. But you know us; we don't give up easily, so we went to the library and checked out all these books." He waved a hand towards the massive pile. "We got anything that seemed even remotely possible, actually. We weren't picky."

Remus was staring at his hands, thinking. "So, you didn't figure it out before hand, and then just get the book as confirmation?"

It was Sirius who answered this time. "Nope, you're an enigma to most of us, Mate. We just know you too well. Don't worry; I don't think anyone else'll ever guess."

Remus nodded, still staring at his hands as if frightened to meet their eyes. "So how did you figure it out, then?"

"Well, Thursday night," Sirius said, "after you'd, uh, left, we were in here reading, and it took _hours_. But then James started yelling about how he'd figured it out. I thought McGonagall would be in here screaming her head off. But then James showed us the book, and we realized he was right. Peter here was about to wet himself, but eventually we decided something."

Remus flinched, sure he was about to hear that they never wanted to see him again. "What?"

Sirius looked at him for a moment, and then broke out in a huge grin. "We don't care."

Remus' head snapped up so fast the others were sure he'd given himself whiplash. He stared at them incredulously for a moment, then croaked, "Don't… care?"

They shook their heads, watching him warily. A thousand emotions chased themselves through Remus' mind and across his face. He settled on furious.

"Don't _care?!" _he said again, like he was spitting the words. He jumped up, his face wild, filled with a hate that the others quickly realized was not directed at them.

"How could you not care? I- I'm a monster, you know that now, and still you don't care? I- I'm a bloodthirsty monster; I could hurt any of you and feel guilty only hours later! You should be running away from me in disgust, or kicking me out! That's what everyone else did!"

Remus glared wildly at them for a second, but then the expression was marred by a spasm of pain that flickered across his face. His hand shot to his side, where the bandages were thickest.

His friends shot up as he swayed alarmingly, ignoring his protests that he was alright and helping him sit on James' bed. All of Remus' anger appeared to have drained out of him, leaving him looking weary and miserable.

Once he was sitting on the bed and his friends were quite sure he was okay, they sat on the bed opposite. Remus watched them for any signs of anger or fear, but all he saw was worry. This surprised him slightly- maybe they really meant it, that they didn't care.

"Remus," Peter asked, staring at him, where he was still clutching his side, "What happened? Are you hurt?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "No, Peter, he's just doing that for laughs. 'Course he's hurt!"

Remus smiled slightly. "Yeah, I'm hurt. It's nothing, though. Don't worry about me." He sighed when James asked his next question.

"How'd you get hurt?"

Remus thought about it for a minute, deciding the best way to go about this.

"Well, okay, I'll tell you. Do you- um, you know the Whomping Willow?"

"You mean the insane tree that likes to hit people?" Remus nodded at Sirius. "Yeah, we know it."

"Well, the Whomping Willow was planted last year- because of me, because I came to Hogwarts. It hides a tunnel, and when you go down the tunnel, it goes straight to the Shrieking Shack."

They all looked at him, confused, not daring to interrupt.

"The Shrieking Shack's not really haunted, you know. That's just a rumor Dumbledore's been helping spread. The screaming you hear… that's me. It's- it's very painful to transform. I'm separated from humans, thankfully, but then I bite myself instead. That's what most of the screaming is."

Peter looked as if he was going to be sick.

"So, is that what happened? You hurt yourself?" Sirius asked.

"Well, yes. But it's not intentional. When I'm transformed, I can't control my actions. The wolf takes over. That's why we're so dangerous- when we're in our wolf forms, we can't recognize anyone."

The room was silent for a minute, and Remus thought they might be out of questions. But, of course, he was wrong.

"Remus," James said, "Before, when you were… ranting at us, you said something about people always running away from you or kicking you out. Do they really do that?"

Remus sighed.

"Yes, they did. I had some friends, before I was bitten, and they were always pretty nice to me. But after, once they knew what I was, they would run away if I tried to play with them. I guess their parents told them never to go near me."

"When were you bitten, Remus?" Sirius whispered, catching them all off guard and interrupting James, who had been about to go off in a full-blown rant.

Remus hesitated. He'd hoped it wouldn't come to the specifics. But he supposed they deserved to know; they hadn't deserted him… yet.

"I… I was five years old."

James and Peter just stared at him, white as sheets. Sirius hissed angrily under his breath.

"You were _five?!_"

Remus nodded.

"I was outside, on the full moon. I think I was helping mum pick ingredients for some potions." Remus furrowed his brow, trying to remember. "One minute, we were just laughing, and everything was fine. The next," Remus broke off, shuddering. "The next, I was pinned under this massive, grey animal, and he was trying to rip my arm out of its socket. Or at least, that's what it felt like." Remus unconsciously rubbed his right arm as he spoke.

"Mum was brilliant; she managed to chase it off without getting bitten. But it was too late for me. Mum and Dad have been trying everything they can, trying to find a cure, but there is none."

"Did you ever find out who it was that bit you?" James asked, looking shaken.

Remus' expression darkened.

"Oh, yes, we know who it was. I used to feel sorry for whomever it was that did it, you know. I know how it feels to lose control. But I don't anymore." He paused, and then continued in a tone that was so uncharacteristically bitter that his friends stared at him, shocked.

"Have you ever heard of Fenrir Greyback?" Sirius and James gasped, but Peter just looked confused.

"It was him. He was the one who bit me. Apparently, my father insulted him, so he got revenge in the worst way possible. That's what he does. He uses the transformations to his advantage, and I think he actually _likes _them." Remus looked disgusted, an expression that was mirrored by his friends.

"But you're not like him, Remus. You're a nice person who's forced to live a horrible life. 'Course, the same could be said for Sirius." James said, laughing slightly as his dark-haired friend stuck his tongue out at him. Just with the one jibe, however, the atmosphere in the room seemed to lighten, and Remus felt himself smiling for the first time all night. It seemed his friends really didn't care, that they truly didn't mind that their friend had turned out to be a werewolf.

And as if he could read Remus' mind, Sirius turned to him and said, "And, Mate, you're not going anywhere. You're sticking with us. We don't care about your… furry little problem."

Remus grinned as the others burst out into laughter. Maybe their knowing his darkest secret could be a good thing, after all.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, I am aware this ends rather abruptly, but it is 2:50 AM and I have class tomorrow… er, today. But this is also one of my longest fan fics ever, so be happy! :D **

**Reviews are greatly appreciated, people. They're like getting a present when it's not your birthday. Can you spare me a few presents? :D**

**Word count: 3,046 :D**

***Mischief Managed**


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